It is amazing to watch how faithfully God answers prayer. This past week really gave me a chance to reflect on the importance of prayer and God's response when we cry out in need. Being on staff, I am required to raise a budget, which includes my salary, benefits, ministry expenses, etc... This budget also influences my time on campus with students based on how much I have raised. So as time this summer has been moving very fast and my lack of a salary is becoming more evident, I have begun to feel the pressure and stress of fund raising. The key aspect that drives this pressure is knowing that if I don't get what I need raised, I will not be able to get on campus during one of the most crucial parts of the semester for connecting with students.
Last Monday all the pressure and stress caught up with me. I came home and the feeling of discouragement, failure, fear, and anxiety hit me. I realized that it was nearly the end of July and my fund raising seemed stuck. I had a goal of reaching 50% by the end of July but I was no where close to it. I felt like I was doing everything wrong, I wasn't being a good staff worker, and that I was being a failure. On top of that, the anxiety of knowing I needed to be 70% funded to work on campus and to have a salary completely overwhelmed me. I was distraught. I didn't know what to do. My dad quickly caught on to my distress and came to the rescue. He began to comfort me which led me to tears (which for me is a big deal). But what he did next I believe was the most important thing he could have done for me. He prayed for me. He prayed that God would give me strength and provide abundantly for me in my fund raising. He interceded for me. And at that point I realized that is what I needed to do and it had totally left my mind. So I prayed. But I did not just leave it at that, I found others to start praying for me. I sent out emails and text messages. I told my friends I needed people to intercede for me during this hard point in time. After that, I slept well that night.
God was faithful to those prayers and blessed me with a quick response. By Wednesday that week God had worked as only He could to bless me with enough support to be 23% funded (and as of right now I am 25% funded with at least 6 appoints in the next 2 weeks and a few others still deciding on support). It was not an immediate 50% but it showed that if I rely on God, He really does have this all in control and will provide for my needs. God does great things. When we rely solely on Him, things go so much better in life. Though it is not always the easiest thing in the world that He leads us towards and not always according to my schedule, it is always with the promise that He will be there and He will provide. And I am so glad that my God wants to know when I do feel discourage, afraid, and nervous as He leads me. When I prayed and told God that I was discouraged, He encouraged me. When I told Him that I was anxious and nervous, He gave me peaceful sleep and friends to speak God's promises to me. He is still at work answering those prayers that I spoke last week (and continue to udder today).
I think it is so easy to forget how important prayer is. Yet it is vital to being in a relationship with God. It is time to speak with Him and listen to Him too. It is a time to"6 Humble yourselves, therefore, under the mighty hand of God so that at the proper time he may exalt you, 7 casting all your anxieties on him, because he cares for you." 1 Peter 5:6–7 (ESV). It is a reminder of God's power and His ultimate provision. Prayer reminds me that I cannot do what I am doing without God. I need Him to do His will. So I will continue to be in prayer to build that relationship with my Lord and Savior, and to continually humble myself before the sovereign power of God.
4 Rejoice in the Lord always; again I will say, rejoice. 5 Let your reasonableness be known to everyone. The Lord is at hand; 6 do not be anxious about anything, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God. 7 And the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.
The Holy Bible: English Standard Version. 2001 (Php 4:4–7). Wheaton: Standard Bible Society.
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